he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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