Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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