I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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