I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
