How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
