Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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