hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize