Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
