I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She announced her abortion via fbk
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
