Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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