Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
