Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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