This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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