I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
