so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
