Three words: puerto rican gang bang
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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