you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
