EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
