Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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