Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just want nice things and good sex
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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