yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
