Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
