dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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