i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
