Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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