After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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