some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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