do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm passing your future prison.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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