i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
