is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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