we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
