haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
