Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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