I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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