my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
