Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize