Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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