I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
