I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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