I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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