Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
