doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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