Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize