trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
