This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We need to get me chipped asap
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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