Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
