Ambien. No doubt about it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
