PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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