3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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