Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
