We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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