I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
