can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
