he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
