If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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