marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
