Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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