actually, I'm a sock model
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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