You made me cry and you don't even care
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
