There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
