so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
