I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
